#🌠Khwab udano ki🌠#

 25 February 2020 (Tuesday) | Time: Raat 7:30 PM Aaj 25 February hai aur main toot kar chuki hoon. 10 tareek ko doctor ne blood test likha tha, par usmein bhi pregnancy clear nahi hui. Mujhe laga shayad koi bimari hai, par aaj doctor ne Ultrasound kiya. Ultrasound mein bhi pehle kuch nazar nahi aaya, phir unhone dusri tarike se (Internal scan) check kiya tab pata chala... Doctor ne kaha ki 'bacche ka ghar' (sac) toh ban gaya hai par baccha abhi nazar nahi aa raha. Unhone seedhi bhasha mein samjhaya ki ghar taiyar hai par baccha abhi aaya nahi hai, aur use lane ke liye aur bachaane ke liye mujhe injections lene honge. Pehla injection lagte hi mera poora pair neela pad gaya. Itna dard ki main clinic se bahar tak mushkil se aa payi. Par ghar aate hi wahi tano ka shor shuru ho gaya. Pati ko chinta hai ki ' sac ' hai par baccha nahi toh paise kyun kharch karein? Unhe lagta hai ye sab fizool hai. Kanha, mera hi sharir hai jismein ye ...

  Kaash Main Ghumne Na Gayi Hoti... Date: 15 February 2020 Time: 09:00 PM (Wapsi ke baad) " Aaj main Puri se wapas aayi hun, par main kyun aayi? Kaash main kabhi ghumne gayi hi na hoti. Jis darr se mera man kaanp rha tha, wahi hua. Jaise hi main apne tote ko lene gayi, us bachi ne kaha ki wo nahi raha... wo mar gaya. Ye sunte hi jaise meri duniya ruk gayi. Main wahi sadak par baith kar itna royi ki mujhe hosh nahi tha. Maine uske liye sab kuch taiyar karke rakha tha, socha tha aate hi use apne hath se khilaungi, dher saari baatein karungi. Par wo chala gaya. Wo mujhse itna pyar karta tha ki shayad meri judaai bardaasht nahi kar paya. Main khud ko kabhi maaf nahi kar paungi. Log kahenge ek tota hi toh tha, par mere liye wo mera baccha tha. Mera masoom dost, jo mere har dukh mein mere sath rehta tha. Aaj mera ghar ekdum khali ho gaya hai. Bhagwan, kyun kiya aisa mere sath? Na main jati, na mera baccha mujhse door hota."

  10 February 2020 (Wednesday) | Time: Raat 01:45 AM Raat ke kareeb do baj rahe hain. Mann bahut ghabraya hua hai isliye YouTube par seekh-seekh kar ye diary likhna shuru kiya hai. Aaj main doctor ke paas gayi thi. December se mere periods ruke huye hain, par ghar par jitni baar bhi check kiya, report negative hi aayi. Doctor ko sab bataya toh unhone bhi chinta jatayi . Unhone kaha ki kabhi-kabhi pregnancy kit mein nahi aati, par sharir ki ye sujan aur thakan kuch aur hi ishara kar rahi hai. Unhone thyroid ka test aur blood test likha hai. Mujhe wahi purana darr sata raha hai... pehli beti (jo abhi 2.5 saal ki hai) uske waqt bhi thyroid ne mera bura haal kar diya tha. Kya is baar bhi wahi maut jaisa dard jhelna padega? Pati ko paison ki chinta hai aur in-laws ko lagta hai main ' aaram ' ke liye bahana kar rahi hoon. Baba Shyam , bas report achhi aaye... mujh mein ab ladne ki himmat nahi hai."